(HT: Anthony Bradley)

I hope I’m in Phase 5, Route 3 (described below) but I regress into phase 1 often enough that I have my doubts…

“After facing the harsh reality in Phase 4, you’ve realized… that you are, for the most part, much worse at being a decent human being than all those people too stupid and impious to realize how awesome your new religion is. While many of the reasons that you had for joining your current tradition remain, and thus so do you, you decide it’s time to cut yourself, your church, everyone else’s churches, and rest of the world some slack.”

Best quotes: “Jesus replied, “You are a woman. Do not speak to me in public.”

“But, sir,…”

“Silence! Do not speak. You and your water pot and all you touch are unclean!”

And: “Jesus pushed back, “Woman, I am post-Jewish. I am post-Second Temple Judaism. I am assigning new symbolic value to people, places and religion itself. I am on a journey through liminal space into the emerging reality.”

Update: Thanks for the nice comments; I’ve got some thoughts on how this little experiment turned out here.

(HT: Challies)

This is like my high school forensics nightmares, except awesome at the same time.
(HT: Irish Calvinist, via JT)

I hadn’t seen this before, so hat tip to Jolly Blogger for pointing me to it. If only it weren’t so accurate…

“Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes, all in a tribute to 1936 Olympic star Jesse Owens, Homosexual dominated the competition.”

“After the race, Homosexual and Dix looked at each other and slapped palms, then hugged.”

“‘It means a lot to me,’ the 25-year-old Homosexual said. ‘I’m glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me.’”

You couldn’t make this kind of stuff up.

(HT: scienceblogs.com)